Thursday, June 08, 2017

MY LIVING WILL



I had an operation done on me a few months ago and before doing it - I was told I needed to fill out a living will form which I did. It talked about what would happen to me if I would not be able to take care of myself and to ensure someone would be responsible for my body and everything connected to my finances.
That said - I started thinking about that concept - Living will and thought - how many of us - are living our lives - without any idea - what we would like to will the world around us to know about us.  What is our real living will - what would we like to inherit to the world while we are still alive if our minds start wandering? a poem by a wondering mind.


MY LIVING WILL

Dear world,
I would like to let you know
That while I am still alive
And full of life
I would still like to share with you
My living will
and my will to live.
What is my greatest inheritance?
If anything happens to my mind and I am not able to tell anyone what to do with that which remains of my thoughts?
Here are the ones I'd like to share for now-

I have a collection of comic books that are tucked away in my mom's attic.
And while the actual comic books are damaged and worthless.
Their stories are intact and priceless.
They shaped my childhood
And made me believe in justice, morality and humanity.
They made me believe that in the war between good and bad -
We must always join the forces of good cause good always wins.

In real life I saw that joining the bad people is easier and there are more victories.
But these dusty comic books are what made me try to always join the side of good.
Which I believe all of you also should.

I would like to share my hard drives,
Which I have no idea where I have stored.
Cause I have hid them not just from the world
But also from myself. So that my own self damaging self won't damage them.

They contain the history of my thoughts
Which to me meant the world.
There's my poems
My short stories
My long novellas
My entire mind is on those drives
Even the dark sides - I have never liked
But chose to share anyways
At least with my hard drives.
And while my mind will probably be wandering far far away - by the time anyone finds these drives.
You will be able to see that my mind had been wondering it's entire life.
Not just at the end.

And then there's my passion
Which I have no idea where it will hide
Cause I don't think passion is something that is connected to anyone body or mind.
It's an energy that eventually transfers from one person to the next.
Just like love.
I had a lot of passion - so I hope that energy will continue to live
At least in the people that I loved
And that loved me back.

And there's the lessons I learned from life
Which I would like to share with all of you
Cause it seems they will not be of any benefit to me any longer.
So there's no point in keeping them a secret.

I want you to know that I think the most important thing in life is to care.
Not about yourself but about others.
Even about the people that don't deserve it.
Sadly, I've wasted so much time on the people that don't deserve it.
But regardless of the energies these people sucked out of me -
It was still worth it.
Caring gave me so much energy and passion to live.
Caring gave my life  meaning .
It opened up my eyes
To the world around me
And opened up the world to me in new ways
I didn't know the world can open up to people.

I would like to will all those that did care about me -
to care about others - like I have tried to care about you.
To care about the sick, the aging and the poor.
To care about the homeless and  the unloved.
to care about the unfortunate that are always sad
And not overlook those who are geniuses at hiding their own sadness.

We owe it to the world
To care about those that the world has forgotten.
And remind those that don't care about the world
That one day - they might be forgotten too.
So it is better they help people like me
Cause if they will be forgotten.
At least they will still have people like us.
Who care about everyone and remember them too.

I will those who care to learn from me
To not be like me.
And not make the same mistakes over and over and over again.
I  wish I could will all of you to be better than me
and realize the only way to live a life you will truly want
Is to stop being afraid.
Of  yourself.
Like I am so afraid of myself.
That is my living will.
I hope it will give
Everyone that reads it
A will to live.
And mostly a will to love themselves
So much more than me.

I hope my passion to love -
finds all of you
And gives you the passion
To love yourself-
Just  as much as  I loved all of you!

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